Sometimes the silence speaks louder than words. It gets my attention anyway. Waiting, enduring, wondering, and seeking...It is really a gift, that waiting room. The longer, harder way, the road less traveled. The journey that began with a single step, that will be followed by a million more and each one may or may not be confirmed by positive circumstances or affirmed by a single sign, but something inside you prompts you to keep going, even when other voices drown out the silence or start to make you question the still small voice that started it all. Why is it that we are never quite ready when the wind begins to blow towards the next step. So often I allow the fear of man to steal my God-confidence. And then I remember that the voice of man is usually the loudest and the voice of God is most often a whisper. The fear of man can keep me from heeding the still small voice of the Holy Spirit's guidance. A trusting and obedient child has not learned the fear of man. Their innocence has kept them blind to the hurt that man can and does inflict. A child is quick to forgive and does not usually harbor bitterness by carrying the hurt with them because they want to believe and see only the best in others.
At what point does the reality of the fallen nature disappoint and start to steal hope and rob joy? God knows the age at which our innocence is lost and we are held accountable for our choices and actions. When I was a young Mom, I would have sworn it was three. But whatever the case, somewhere along the line we all face the ugly truth of this world. It is a struggle. It is harder than we imagined and our own sin is uglier than we realized. The hardship is suppose to build character, but it seems like it is turning us into a hideous character. The fire meant to refine feels more like it is burning and the steam building....Hurts collect like bruises on our souls and try to stifle the still small voice of hope. And then, we want to turn on the still small voice and blame someone or something for our pain. We don't want to own it or own up to it...And why do we have to struggle?! Who came up with this plan?! The waiting room, the struggle, the mirror of our hurt and pain forces us to make a choice. Live or die? Truth or lies? Peace or anger? Forgiveness or bitterness? Contentment or jealousy? Light or darkness? Help or struggle? Love or fear? Choose you this day whom you will serve....Perfect love casts out fear...And what is love? No greater love has man than this... but to lay down his life for his friend....for God so loved the world that He gave His only Son... It is a daily, moment by moment choice.... to obey or not to obey...to choose Love. To choose true Joy. To choose the God way or the highway, to say yes to the Holy Spirit despite the voice of man. Even when it doesn't make sense, it makes sense to someone. Help me Heed.
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